Made it

I made it through the day and it wasn't as awful as I had expected. I did start my Provigil and I was still wiped out, but my body needs to readjust to it.

Driving home was surreal, as if it wasn't me actually driving the car but rather me in the passenger's seat watching everything going on. Needless to say, that's not really what you want when you are actually the driver so I tried to pay close attention to what I was doing. I was still all over the place but I made it home and no one got hurt.

I am so glad that the weekend is here. I have to go to the hospital tomorrow for some quick bloodwork and there is much laundry to be done. I also need to figure out what I am going to do with the black work pants I have that need a new a zipper. Try and get them fixed or just throw them out?

Thankfully, because I am a big girl, I wear long shirts to "pretend" to hide the fact that I am gigantic. That was handy when my zipper would no longer go up at work last week because of a catch in the zipper's teeth. The other good part of that whole deal was that it happened after the school day was done, leaving me chuckling to myself in the bathroom and probably making passersby wonder what exactly was going on in there. (After all, our P and VP were let go last year after what was reported to be adulterous activity with each other and he was married.)

I think I can report that I feel a small, minute, teensy bit better psychologically so that's a plus. I'm not yelling this from the rooftops or anything but maybe the meds and the fact that it's Friday are combining to create a semi-happy mini-moment.

I'm still binging and purging daily. I don't really plan to do so, it just reaches that moment where I feel full and off I go. I hardly eat lunch at all now and today's lunch was an ounce of cheese and a small can of tomato juice. I really need to get in and talk with my psychologist but that appointment was canceled today and moved to next Friday. Sigh, I guess I am not the most important person in the world.

In random bits, one of my students came to me today to chat (after being pizzed off when I didn't let him go to chorus on time because of so much late work lately) and brought up the new movie called "The Express". I'm not sure if anyone out there has heard about it, but where I live they actually rolled out the orange carpet (yes, I said orange) and premiered the movie here a few weeks back.

Regardless, the movie is about (methinks) a Syracuse University football player named Ernie Davis. I think, the story goes, he was the first black male who played college football during the deep, dark days of our country's segregationist past. In class, we have been talking about Rosa Parks, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and Ruby Bridges: all black Americans who used nonviolence to help get this country out of the separate but equal thinking that the old days allowed.

Anyway, my student went and saw the movie with his mom and he told me he really liked it. We had a discussion about the fact that this movie is not fiction and this was a real person. He said his mom cried as she watched it. I asked him if he told his mom what we had been talking and learning about in regards to segregation. He responded in the affirmative and said his mom was surprised.

So friends and blog readers, there was an honest to goodness real life connection from school to life made by a ten year old and I had something to do with it. I'll take any kudos I can because they come so infrequently.