Thursday, October 2, 2008


I survived Wednesday at school, but just barely with my nails scraping the end of my frayed rope. I got myself to my psych R.N. appointment and we jumped up the dosages on both my Wellbutrin XL (antidepressant) and my Xanax (anti-anxiety) to a level that should make most normal people feel human again.

Today was also my yearly teaching observation and that was first thing in the morning after the heavy med dosing. I was actually calm, cool, and collected while he was there. I got a thumbs up from my boss later on in the day at a meeting. I figure a smile and a thumbs up must mean the observation went okay so I will take it.

I'm sure that feeling better today is completely the placebo or psychological effect of jumping up these meds. I don't really care. All I know is that I did not cry today and boy, was that a nice flipping change.

So that brings us to work tomorrow and then I have taken Monday off to get away from that place where my soul has been sucked out of my body and be relaxed and ready for my first Tysabri infusion that afternoon.

The sun has actually come out here after some heavy rain this morning and this afternoon. It's really sunny but not hot so I can almost enjoy the minute or two I spend walking to and from my vehicle. I like to think the sun is a nice metaphor for my slowly healing soul and sense of peace.

Of course, I will keep you updated on all that. I'm hoping that things are going well in the world of you, my gentle readers, who always offer up the nicest and most positive comments. They really do help and I look forward to seeing what others have to say.

I have to clean the litter box now; make of that what you will.


Denver Refashionista said...

Glad things are better for you today. I lost it at work today. Tomorrow I'll try for better.

Merelyme said...

Hey you sound really good! You have to tell us how the Tysabri infusion goes and what that is like. Seems like a lot of folk are trying it.

Shauna said...

Sounds good! Not the kitty litter thing, though, I'm sure the felines would approve....


Weeble Girl said...

Thanks again; the depression is still deep but at least I can have other emotions than constant panic and sadness.