Monday, August 30, 2010

Hiding

How do you hide an overweight woman? Answer- in plain sight underneath all the fat and flab. A big girl learns to hide under specially chosen clothes, with a big smile, ready to deflect any conversation about herself to talk about others.

If she sees a mirror she flinches and looks away. She does not want to see her ever expanding girth. She does not want to see the thick waist, the belly that hangs down, the wide hips. She dresses in silence, willing herself not to see the X's in front of the L or the 2's as a first digit in pants or shorts sizes.

She pretends she is a normal size, just slightly bigger. To do otherwise would lead to a further loss of self-esteem. She has so little now that it would seem cruel to add more fuel to the fire.

When she does her Zumba that is the only time when she feels good. The only time her body does not betray her. The only time when she feels powerful, strong, lovely. Is it that time she treasures and holds tight when reality tries to slip back in.

It is better than nothing.

2 comments:

Lisa said...

I've been hearing a lot about Zumba lately but I have no idea what it is. I think I'll have to check into it!

Weeble Girl said...

I love it, Lisa. I think you can check it out online at zumba.com or you can just google it.

It's about $60 for the set they show on the infomercial.

Weebs