My birthday weekend

I have been missing the blog but I have been so busy this week that there hasn't been much time left over for writing. The middle to the end of the week was busy with Wednesday's Tysabri infusion in the afternoon, Thursday night's visit to see some retired friends and then the Meet the Teachers' Barbecue, and Friday started the beginning of my birthday weekend extravaganza.

Friday was a long day filled with three fire drills (with a blocked entrance), my yearly observation by the principal (which went superbly), and a delivery of lovely flowers from my sister who is in the Army in Afghanistan. Then I had the pleasure of being treated to dinner out by some friends who happen to own a fantastic hair salon. It was a new place to me with fabulous food. We were allowed to bring in some sangria and a chocolate oreo cheesecake for dessert. Michael Buble' also played several times on their sound system so I was in heaven with all that and some presents going on!

Today was a bit of a bust. I had had plans to go scrapbooking with my pal BJM all day for many months. Then about a month ago my mother called up and told me that I HAD to CANCEL my plans so I would be home on Saturday. I was none too pleased with this but she insisted because "something" was supposed to be delivered on Saturday that my father had to pay for on delivery. She even told me that she would call BJM herself and tell her I was not coming. So I did what I was told even though I already had made plans months in advance and my friend could not get the money back for my not showing up. (It was her present to me and something I was looking forward to for a long time.)

Regardless, I was now supposed to be home on Saturday. The delivery people were SUPPOSED to call and give me a delivery time on Friday. NO call. My parents finally got ahold of someone this morning and found out that there are NEVER deliveries on the weekend! Talk about being steamed... I REALLY wanted to go scrapbooking all day and I gave it up for nothing. Now the delivery is coming on Monday after work which is what I asked my parents to do in the first place but my mother MADE me give up my plans because she said there was no way they could change it.

Alas, I did many chores today and had a monumental nap. BJM went scrapbooking with another friend, in lieu of me, and when we talked on the phone she said it was a great place to be scrapping. We are planning on going in January when no one we know has a birthday.

Sunday I will go out for lunch with BJM and her mom as my actual birthday day is the same as the anniversary of her parents. Her dad is no longer alive so we will work on keeping her mom's spirits up. And she bought me a present!

I will be 40 tomorrow and I am so excited. I am fairly healthy, besides the being obese part, I am happy with work, I have great friends and a family that means well, and I have Edison the cat. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

Monday brings a shared birthday lunch with another 6th grade teacher and my delivery of the mystery object. It had better be good and not be a stair stepper or something weird that I have no interest in. Heck, I deserve something nice after losing out on today.

Happy last day of being 39 to me!

Monday, Monday

Another Monday down and many, many more work weeks to go! It's good to have a purpose and a passion in life. It's also good to be getting a paycheck again. A single gal has to pay the bills still, you know.

I'm trying to cut down on the carbo-loading after work. It's a struggle because I come home so hungry and I can't wait to get something in my gullet. I did exercise tonight with my Just Dance and my back is feeling better. I also started working on my lesson plans for my yearly observation this Friday.

I have a half day off on Wednesday for my Tysabri infusion. Thursday night is Meet the Teachers' Night and a Family BBQ from 5:30-7:30. Friday night is dinner out with friends for an early birthday celebration. On Saturday my parents are having something delivered as a birthday present. And Sunday is the big event itself, the 4-0! I may even go out again on Sunday with BJM if I can stay awake long enough.

I'm excited about turning 40 because I am fairly healthy, have some great friends, am gainfully employed, and I'm on the right side of the dirt!

"I will survive, hey hey." Great words from an old song but words that ring true. I made it through the whole first full week of work. Yippee. By Friday I was tired and limped through the day but I survived.

I am so proud of me for that!

I am making it up as I go along as far as what I want the class to be. There may be more changes as I trudge along in the trenches but that's okay. I have that flexibility in my position. I am getting used to the schedule and some days the day is over before I can even believe it. Then again, some days certain periods drag. It's all good though.

I'm healthy and happy and energized through my Provigil. That stuff is my miracle because without it there is no way I would be able to function well enough to work. I do not take it on the weekends unless there is something special that I have to attend to that needs me awake. That means I sleep the weekend away basically. Today, for example, I woke up around six and felt energetic. I went to the kitchen to chop up veggies for a beef stew and then went shopping around seven a.m. After that was done I put the groceries away and had a carb-filled breakfast (a no no). It wasn't nine yet but I was sleepy so I went up to take a snooze.

The snooze lasted until 1:40!

I stayed up for about 30 minutes and then felt sleepy again. Back to bed I went and I was out until 5:40! I basically slept my day away but my body needed it. That's how strong my fatigue is even though I am now sleeping through the night. I live in a bubble of exhaustion.

But the point is I am living and thriving, even if it is better living through pharmaceuticals.

More good words to live by...

1.) Don't sweat the small stuff.

2.) It's all small stuff.

(Provided from another source)

Not my words but good ones nonetheless...

You are more than food.

You are stronger than a craving.

You are more complicated than a habit.

You're more thoughtful than mindless eating.

(Provided to me from a friend who saw this in a magazine)

Fatigue

I took yesterday off from blogging because of my crazy fatigue from going back to work. I had a great nap after I came home from work. I survived the first week back, just 39 more weeks to go! LOL

I was so tired today that I slept past nine in the morning and took two naps. This going-back-to-work thing takes a lot of energy. I am taking my Provigil to keep me awake and alert and that helps during the day. My blood sugars have been great for lunch and breakfast but I feel like I am carbo loading at dinner time. I'm not eating enough during the day so when I get home I am starving and eat everything in sight. Okay, not everything but my choices are not always the best.

I go to see my primary care provider this week, the next week is my Tysabri infusion, and the next week is an appointment with the diabetes nurse educator for the second time. I'll be at the neurologist's two weeks after the DNE. I'm making the rounds of all my health care providers so I should be in top top shape in a month or so!

I'll be starting the Victoza when I go to see the DNE at the end of the month. The daily shot doesn't bother me, especially after being on Copaxone. I just don't want to be on insulin unless I absolutely have to be and right now I don't think that is the right avenue for me.

I have not exercised formally for three days now. My back spasms are getting better, fewer and farther in between. I do have a new Wii game that just arrived today. It's the Gold's Gym Dance Workout. It has lots of the dances from Zumba on it so maybe I'll get more booty and hip shaking when I do it.

Tomorrow I have to firm up my plans for the next week at work. Monday through Wednesday I teach English Language Arts and Thursday and Friday are Math days. I play math games daily during 9th period on a rotating basis with different classes. I think I may start a novel on Monday.

Oh how life has changed now that vacation is over! It's a good, positive change though and I'm glad to be productive and busy again.

Happy weekend everybody. :)

Tired

I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired. I am also so glad tomorrow is Friday and the end of my work week. My feet hurt a little, my back is spasming now and then, but I am teaching and doing well at it if I say so myself.

Maybe I'll have more insight and energy come this weekend. Until then I send you good, healthy and happy vibes.

Updates

I finally got to speak with the diabetes nurse educator this evening. We agreed that I should stop the Actos due to the weight gain (15 pounds). I will be starting a new medication called Victoza which is a daily shot, but it is not insulin. One of the side effects is weight LOSS (yippee!). I won't start that until the end of the month when I go back to see the diabetes nurse educator in person.

School went well, better than I probably expected. I made it through the day and no one got lost between all the switching for classes. Tomorrow we do some real work and that will separate the wheat from the chaff. I'm hoping that my enthusiasm will help to motivate everyone else to at least attempt the math problems I'll be tossing their way.

I also slept through the night again, until 4 a.m. Then I was up and puttering around on Facebook before I did my Zumba and Just Dance. It's nice to get the exercise done before work even though I have had lots of energy afterwards. The Provigil is definitely doing its job in keeping me awake and alert.

That's it for now. Night all!

Back to school

Okay, I went to work today for some meetings in the morning and then I worked in my classroom. It looks good in there after many, many hours of hard labor. I think I am ready for tomorrow when the kiddos come. I have my ninety dollars of copies made, flash cards, and lots of stuff to talk about for our forty-two minute periods.

I'm nervous but excited too. I hope to sleep through the night again (like last night!) and wake up with the same eagerness as today. I'll be taking my Provigil in the morning, eating a light breakfast and hoping I make it to lunch okay without my sugar dropping through the floor.

I also need to call the diabetes nurse educator again because we didn't connect today. My weight gain needs to be discussed *and* dealt with. I'm working really hard to get my diabetes under control and it's frustrating to see my weight balloon like crazy when my eating habits are improving so much.

That's it for now. Here's hoping I can share some more enthusiasm tomorrow...

Pieces and bits

Tomorrow is the first day of the new school year. We have meetings in the morning, a free luncheon, and then time to work in our classrooms. Mine is in great shape from all the time I put in last week and the week before with BJM's help. (Thanks again BFF!)

Today I went to Wal-Mart for a few more school supplies and some school snacks. After that I went to Staples to get copies made. I thought I'd splurge and have them made for me so I didn't have to wait forever at the copy machine. I thought the whole shebang would cost around twenty dollars. Not so much.

When the cashier rang me up it cost ninety dollars for the copies. Ninety bucks! Can you imagine? I never thought to ask about the price per copy but it was eighty cents each. That boggles my mind. Live and learn.

Yesterday I ordered two new Wii workout games: the new Just Dance 2 which is coming out on October 12 and the Gold's Gym Dance Workout. I have also heard that there is a Zumba Wii game coming out in a few months that I will keep my eye on. Look at me choosing to purchase things that are healthy for me!

Sending this to print now because I am sleepy and thinking about heading to bed early because I have to get up with the alarm tomorrow morning. Nighty night!

Feeling....

Okay, I just lost my post so I am feeling ticked off. Sigh, I'll try again tomorrow.

Better

Blood sugar readings today were much better. Whew! Now I can breathe a sigh of relief. Tomorrow will just have to be another repeat of today and then so on. I will get my diabetes under control. I AM getting my diabetes under control.

I did get lots of sleep today which was delicious in its own right. I also exercised with my Wii and Just Danced for 40 minutes. I got the car's headlight changed and then went to the movies afterward. I saw the new Drew Barrymore/Justin Long movie "Going the Distance". Sadly, I wouldn't give it much of a review. I didn't care for the gratuitous use of the F-word and the sexual jokes much. I'm not a prude by any means but this movie just didn't work for me.

I think I may be going to see George Clooney's "The American" tomorrow. The ratings for that weren't stellar but at least he's eye candy for me. Better eye candy than real candy.

School is coming in a matter of days. I need to have some copies run at Staples because I forgot my copier number at school. I need some stuff for the first few days to tide me over until I get my number emailed to me again. I'm still nervous about work but it's a little late for the full-on freak-out to happen. I'm teaching a new grade and that's that. Keep me in your thoughts come Wednesday, please!

All around a much better day today, even if my jeans were tight!

Blank

What to write about, what to write about? I'm a little blank on a specific topic although I will admit that I am mad at myself for doing some pre-marathon carb loading without a marathon in sight.

My blood sugar numbers were phenomenal yesterday. Then this morning I went shopping at 4 a.m. I was picking out some delicious looking tomatoes when I saw the biggest glazed donut. Ever.

And then I walked over and bagged it to take home and eat.

That's not even the worst of it. I also bought potato chips, buy one get one free. What in Hades was I thinking? I am a food addict and I had just bought my drugs for the day. My carb hit came quick and fast when I got home. In went the donut, in went potato chips. Up went my glucose.

Stupid, stupid, stupid move.

I am so disappointed in myself for throwing the previous day's hard work right out the door. And it was hard work as I really limited my carbs and made conscious choices to eat more protein. This diabetes thing is not easy. I thought I would have it licked by now. I stopped eating dinner out almost all the time, cut out the frappes, and even stopped the Dunkin' Donut runs. I am working out about 5 days a week. I have started cooking more healthy meals in my crock pot. I have to watch each thing I put in my mouth.

Some days the numbers are great and some days they stink.

I need to keep at this and not let my mind go blank when I make food choices. I do not want to be on insulin. I want to get this diabetes under my control. I cannot control my MS but I can put forth 100% effort to do everything I can to beat back diabetes.

Something revolutionary

I just learned something new, something life-changing from my friend BJM tonight. They apparently make these things called liners for crock pots aka slow cookers!

Who knew?

Not me and now I am giddy with anticipation at purchasing them and, even better, using them in my crock pot. Those of you who are my FB pals know I use the crock pot a lot, usually at least 2-3 times a week. That's a lot for a single gal who eschews making her own dinner.

Now I can clean even less than I already do! Woohoo...

In other news my diabetes nurse educator has told me that my glucose levels have to get low and stay low or she is putting me on insulin in a few weeks. I absolutely don't want that so I have taken my bagel out of my morning line-up. I am convinced that I can get my numbers down lower and I will accomplish this come Hades or high water from Hurricane Earl.

I am also almost done with my classroom. I have emptied all my boxes and all the boxes I inherited from my friend who has retired. Now I just have to sort through some more stuff and put it away. My SMART board is up and my computer is now attached to my printer in my room. I have my homeroom list and I'm delighted to say that I have several students from last year in my first class. I still need to actually plan what I am going to teach the first week but procrastination is the mother of invention or something like that.

I think I may actually spoil myself and go to the movies twice this long weekend. I am interested in George Clooney (who isn't?) and his new thriller along with Drew Barrymore's romantic comedy.

I am also considering joining a gym! We have a Planet Fitness opening up in October in my little town and they have a great joining offer. I'd like to get some ideas about training my portly little body (yes, I know that was an oxymoron). I love my Zumba but I know weight training is also important in keeping bones healthy and strong. Cross training wouldn't hurt my bod either.

I guess that's enough for now. Night all!
Weebs

The battle

It feels as if my body is doing battle each day. Food vs. no food, exercise vs. rest, sleep vs. waking hours. I'm always making decisions about my poor body and not always for the best.

Right now I am literaly exhausted but I just woke up. How can that be? Because I was up early AGAIN, my sleep was interrupted around three in the morning, as it always is. Right now I cannot even summon the energy for a deep breath. Typing takes total focus but I feel my eyes trying to shut.

I live in the early part of the day like this. I am so tired, so worn out, and yet I cannot get enough rest. Even my last dream of the morning featured me on the beach, pockets filled with sand, buried in the sand, sick and unable to move.

When school starts next week the battle will ramp itself up. I will take my Provigil to fight the exhaustion but I need to start sleeping all night. I cannot function like this when I have to work; heck, I can't function like this when I don't have to work.

Every day is also an exercise battle. Should I or shouldn't I? I know I should but will I actually do it? I tend to work out in the evening after dinner to help lower my blood sugar. That's a good thing, a great thing, but this morning I can barely take that deep breath. It's as if working out has left me drained later on.

I will, however, drag my behind in to work later this morning. I have some more boxes to go through and filing cabinets to empty out. I have lunch scheduled with a friend. I also need to call the diabetes nurse again with my latest blood sugar readings.

I will do what I need to do and hope my body will help take care of what is left.