My vacation: A trip to the grocery store

I woke up, took a shower, got gussied up (styled my hair and used Chapstick) and decided to get my act together so I could head to the grocery store for a few items. I had this particular brainstorm because I saw the store ad on the kitchen table.

First, I had to figure out how much money was in the grocery checkbook because there were some ATM slips that needed to be recorded. I snatched the big pen and the pencil with the grip and the calculator and did my mathematics. Grocery checkbook done.

Then I had to figure out how much money was in the other big summer checkbook because the two checkbooks were next to each other in my purse and I had all the stuff out to do the figuring. How satisfying to be so productive first thing in the morning; okay, in reality it was now about ten thirty but it was still in the morning.

There was a little side trip to the shredder to shred some ATM slips and other stuff I had waiting to be shredded.

After that, I decided to clip coupons from the last two weeks' worth of Sunday newspapers just in case there was something that could be used for this trip.

While clipping, I noticed an ad for Empire Vision and I went back into my purse to get my date book because I wanted to schedule a time for my eyeballs to be examined and to get some new glasses. My date book contains no romantic dates, only appointments for the really exciting stuff in my life like doctor visits, OT visits, and summer curriculum work.

I called EV and set an appointment for the eyeball work and dutifully noted it in my non-romantic date book.

Next, I searched out my coupon envelope, found it by the computer, and decided that I better go through and get rid of all the expired coupons. That proved to be most everything in the envelope. In a concentrated effort to be more organized, I put the remaining coupons back in the envelope according to the aisles of the grocery store.

I made a random list of items to purchase without actually looking to see what I did or did not have and put the list in the coupon envelope and all of that in my purse. Grabbed the Netflix envelope to drop off at the post office and then I decided I should pay one bill that was coming due soon.

Off I wobbled to get the bill bundle, find the bill I needed, grabbed an envelope and stamped and sticker addressed it, and went back to sit down. Filled out the paperwork and put it all in the envelope which I had to lick, ack.

I needed to grab the bags the store sells that you use in place of the hundred plastic bags which they will use to bag your assorted purchases. I was now what we call READY TO GO.

I went to the post office and I swear, I just now remembered this, my best friend sent me a card which I didn't open yet. Okay, you don't know this but I just stopped typing to go open up the card. It is a card with a wolf on the cover and inside she put a stick of gum and a newspaper article about our favorite TV show, Wipeout. This will sound like an incredibly stupid gesture to some of you but from a best friend it's exactly what I needed to make me smile.

I shopped and noticed my wasband's (ex-husband's) mother and brother in the freezer area. I tried to deftly avoid them and moved to the next aisle. They followed shortly after and I pretended to be deeply absorbed in the numerous flavors of yogurt. They passed by and I went back to the original freezer aisle.

Then I checked out, came home, and put the groceries away. I ate lunch (no breakfast) and then went to sleep for several hours. (I'm thinking that switch to Ritalin for alertness may not be working so well.)

For some people with multiple sclerosis or other illnesses this trip can be akin to climbing Mount Everest or even any really tiny mountain. Some days a trip like this with all this precision pre-planning can be impossible.

This is but one example of my stealthiness and ingenuity as a weeble.