Thursday, December 16, 2010

Just can't win...

I tried to do something nice for my mother this week. My brother, sister, and I went in on buying a particular gift that my Dad had wanted to purchase for my mom this year for Christmas.

In the end it blew up in my face and I found out that I am just overwhelming my mom. There was a nasty fight on the phone and the typical family byline of "we don't talk about our feelings". Actually, it's just my mom that can't talk about her feelings which would have gone a long way in diffusing the nasty phone call where she hung up on me.

So I am backing off, way off. No more church on Saturdays and calling each night. I'll call once in a while and not worry that she is allowing herself to get sick again. If she doesn't take care of herself that is her choice and she doesn't take care of herself.

It's easier for her to thrive on the drama and to have people feel bad for her.

I just can't do it anymore and have to take care of me for my own self-preservation.

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