I'm here but not "here" here

I think about blogging but then don't do it. It's a lot like my lesson plans. Thinking and not doing until the last minute. But they do get done.

I miss you dear readers but those kids are tiring me out. It always gets more hectic at the end of the year despite what people usually think. I am out part of Monday morning for training so I only have to teach two subjects tomorrow. Wednesday is a field trip minus three of my most unruly children. I am hoping for nice weather and no rain as we are outdoors and it continues rain or shine.

I will not be teaching the inclusion students next year because I was out so much this year. All the subs and new teachers made my room a difficult one for the inclusion students and they are worried about how much time I could take off next year. In a way I feel like a loser about the whole thing because our inclusion set up worked super well while I was actually there. Next year's group has some autistic students and others who don't do well with change so I am out and someone else is in.

To be honest, it might make my whole life much easier. It is what it is. Another change in my life at work.

I am busy but think of my dear readers often, just not often enough to write a lot lately. I can say this though; I have made it through one month back at work and I have one more month to go. Our last day is June 25th with no students and the 24th with students for a half day.

Tomorrow is June 1st baby!

Wipeout

I love this show and watched it with Lola tonight. Thanks to BJM for telling me it was on. I soooooooooo NEEDED to laugh. I think I saw actual IQs dropping today in class.

Thank goodness for Wipeout and the hurdles!

What I wrote yesterday

I must have been out of my flipping mind last night. I forgot I work with children who no longer want to do any work or follow any directions.

There must be a vaccine for people like me who think they need to go back to work. If you've heard about it, please let me know.

Call me sick but...

Tomorrow is a work day after five days off. I need to go back to work. I have had too much time off in a row after being back to work for three weeks. Some people might call me sick in the head but I really do need the structure and routine of work.

The last two days I have found myself doing a lot of nothing besides sleeping and reading. I did do some laundry and went to the grocery store today. I did walk for 25 minutes yesterday and today. I did work on some lesson plans for the next few days. Of course, I could always do more school work but that part is boring.

I just need to be back at work. It gives me something to do and a place to be five days a week, except this week when it's only four days a week. Don't get me wrong, I love the weekends. I can sleep in past 5:30 a.m. and I don't have to be responsible for anyone else besides me and Franklin the wonder cat.

So I have the "Sunday" night blues on Monday but it's good for me to know that tomorrow brings forth new promise of another week at work.

Oh, and by the way, my brother is no longer in Iraq. Earlier this past week he arrived at his post in Germany. Yippee, now both sibs are safe!

No one else cares but...

I love Netflix because I get to see the movies and the TV shows I miss from going to bed at 9 p.m. I also get to see some shows I missed from previous years. I've been watching Joan of Arcadia and just as it gets good, reeeeeeeeally good, the show was canceled.

That just torques me to no end. The show was a wonderful spin off from the idea of Joan of Arc with Amber Tamblyn playing the lead role of Joan as a high schooler/"chosen one" at Arcadia High School. At the end of the fantabulous second season there was a creepy cliff hanger between Joan and Ryan Hunt who showed up in just the last two episodes. Ryan was the villain, the evil doer and he and Joan were squaring up for battle when they canceled the show.

They CANCELED the show just as they were reaching the (ahem) climax of two seasons. I'll never know how it ends now although I suspect Joan would have been the winner between the two forces.

Instead, I am forced to pop in another Netflix DVD and am watching "The Other Boleyn Girl". Well, half watching and half typing.

If you read this on Sunday evening and get the chance, I highly recommend watching the PBS Memorial Day concert broadcast at 8 p.m. eastern time. Remember the reason for the holiday.

Three weeks!

I have officially completed three weeks back at work. I think I have five weeks left so soon we'll be exactly halfway through with the remainder of the school year.

An unusual thing happened on Thursday of this week. Just as I went to shut the TV off and leave for work, on the screen appeared a delay notice of an hour for my district. What great luck since we had Friday off for the long weekend already. I was pretty psyched that we got to work an hour less.

I called a few work pals to let them know of the delay (due to low water pressure) because it was only on one TV channel and a lot of people don't watch the television in the morning. They were all surprised and astonished.

Me being the early person that I am waited a little while and then decided to go in and work in peace and quiet and put my grades in the computer. I arrived to a few people standing in the parking lot, a big truck, and water flowing out of the building through a big hose. A parent was trying to drop off his dumpling but I told him we had a delay just as my coworkers yelled over that we were closed.

CLOSED!

Suddenly I had another day off to add to my four day weekend. Now I had five days off! It was a gorgeous morning with a light breeze, blue skies and sunshine. It was to be 87 degrees on Thursday which made it ideal to be out of the classroom as we have no air conditioning. I was smiling because I had awaken that morning super tired, tossing and turning the night before. I could now count on a nap and I actually had two of them on Thursday.

Thursday became my errand day and I went to the post office for the first time in about three weeks. I paid bills at home, online and off. I had my handicap placard turned in to get a new one for the next three years. (I don't use it often but when I do, I NEED to use it.) I got a check from the insurance company so I went to the bank and got three rolls of quarters for the washer and dryer. I bought a muffin on the way home from school and filled up my gas tank. I talked to the special ed teacher/wonder helper on the phone for over an hour. And, I still had time to take my two naps. Talk about unexpected bliss.

Now I'm not sure if we are going to have to go an extra day in June to make up for this unexpected day off. I guess I'll find out on Tuesday when I go back to work. I'm hoping for some kind of major miracle that won't penalize us. Time to pray.

Yep, I'm alive.

I promise to write more soon. I have been negligent in the care and feeding of my blog and I'm feeling really guilty about that.

Apparently not guilty enough because I'm not writing more now. I'm going to chat with everyone over at Joan's website A Short in the Cord. Come join us if you're reading this on Friday night from 7-9:30 eastern time.

It's easy to get there and there a few illustrious bloggers who also attend and we have pretend refreshments and have a good ole time.

More to come soon; I promise.

Sunday, Sunday

Ah the weekend is ending and Monday is coming quickly. This always happens on Sundays. It's sort of a calendar thing. It repeats over and over again.

I have done some work on Monday's plans and I am already anticipating the four day weekend that is to come at the end of the week ahead. Four days to sleep in and do little errands. Yippee. I am also looking forward to Friday off for my next Tysabri infusion. I don't have to take a day off without pay so that works out wonderfully for me. This will be infusion number nine or ten; I'm not sure which.

I haven't been writing on here much because work does indeed suck most of the life out of me. Plus, how many ways can I say the day was rotten? Although this last week did have that one spectacular bonus day where my two biggest unruly offenders were gone from the classroom. That truly made for a wonderful day. Were there still some problems? Yes, of course but they were minimal compared to a regular day.

Tomorrow all the unrulies are expected to be back, although one may end up in ISS for the day due to Friday's incidents. A girl can dream, as awful as that may sound. I don't dislike this student but I very much dislike his behavior. I suspect most of his classmates dislike it as well but there are some who see him as the " cool" kid. I just wonder if he's trying out for the Future Inmates of America program. Sigh...

I haven't been writing about MS a lot either because I seem to be doing okay. I am noticing some fatigue as the week goes on and I am napping some days after work. I am working hard at school so I can leave as early as possible. That allows me to get home and nap and get some dinner before it's too late. I'm going to bed somewhere between 8:30 and 9:15 p.m. My alarm goes off around 5:20 a.m. and I seem to be getting out of bed without a lot of problems. Would I like to sleep longer? You betcha but I get up and drag myself into the shower.

So the sleep is good, the getting up is okay, and getting through the day is sometimes a challenge but I am doing it. One day at a time is what I seem to focus on. It's much more palatable that way, taken in twenty-four hour increments.

It looks like Tysabri is doing its job along with my merry band of daily meds. And so it goes.

Thrilling Thursday

Today was an almost peaceful day as one unruly child is spending a week off courtesy of out of school suspension and the biggest of the unrulies spent the day in in school suspension. We started the day off by answering questions using direct quotations from our reading book.

They all worked.

Quietly.

Like angels.

I smiled with the biggest smile. We were like a real classroom uninterrupted by the ridiculousness of two unruly children. You'd be surprised how awful acting two small people can be. It's so bad at times that I feel bad for the rest of the kids. I wish they'd rise up and tell the other two to shut their pie holes but they are too afraid and too intimidated to do it.

Isn't that a shame that two people could potentially wreck the environment for nineteen other individuals? I thought the benefit of the many was supposed to outweigh the benefit of the few? Isn't that how it generally works in society?

Thoughts on this anyone, anyone? Bueller, Bueller?

Wednesday wahooooooo

It's finally Wednesday and I have made it through hump day. Now we're on the other side of the hill rolling towards the weekend. Wahoooooo. That makes me happy.

I will say that I seem to be getting back into the swing of things. I'm able to fly by the seat of my pants more. I'm able to say for the tenth time, "Put your science book on top of your desk." I can even sometimes do this without wishing harm on anyone. That's a move in the right direction.

I can get through math class with the TA and the Special Ed teacher in the room to save me from pulling a math kamikaze run. I hand out pencils without expecting to get them back. Then I do it again the next day.

I can keep track of who owes me what homework, mostly.

I can even sometimes crack a smile and send out a bit of sarcasm to the others who work in the room. Sometimes we all smile. It gives me hope.

Next week is a four-day week with Friday off. I have a half-day workshop in the morning on Thursday. I think I also have a half-day workshop on Wednesday to learn how to use the SMART board that isn't in my room yet. (It is in everyone else's room in fifth grade.)

These are small victories but I will claim them.

Sunday night sniffles

It's Sunday and I wish tomorrow would be Friday instead of Monday. I'm scared and anxious of this Monday because of silly things that I worry about. School is stressing me out but it will be fine once we get rolling for the day.

I have a cold or some allergy issues, not sure which. I'll just call it a cold. I'm sniffley and coughing and have watery eyes and I'm running a fever (again).

I think part of my agitation is not from taking any Xanax either yesterday morning or this morning. I am definitely irritated and agitated about tomorrow on the horizon. In the end it will all be fine though.

After all, I am a fantastic genius or so I sometimes think.

Week one

I made it through the entire week! I did it. Yippee for me. It wasn't easy because I have been away from them for so long and they have their other routines from the subs but slooooowly we are making progress and I am roping them back into my routine.

I have remembered all their names and haven't lost any paperwork yet, although I did misplace a paper but it was where I thought it was when I finally got my wits about me again. (Did that make any sense?)

I took a nap only one night this week on Wednesday so that was progress too. I threw in some Klonopin a few nights to finally get some decent sleep. I have been waking up on time at 5:20 with the alarm, albeit groggy on those days after the extra hit of Klonopin.

I am arriving at work early, about 6:45 so I have an hour to get myself ready for the day. I leave shortly after work ends, usually by 3:30 although one day was after four this week due to a meeting.

I am slowly adjusting my bladder to the structure of my day. I take a diuretic in my blood pressure pill so I am restricting how much I drink in the morning and at lunch. I can now pretty much make it through the day okay. I also restrict my food intake for the morning and afternoon as well. I come home hungry and thirsty but I make it through the day.

I'm trying to stay on top of the grading and my special ed teacher/wonder pal is helping out with that. She is really a wonderful helper and assistant in the room to me. She works wonders with her kids and helps me to stay on top of the whole class. Thank you MH!

In news not about school, let me throw out a happy Mom's Day to all you who both read this and mother to little ones and big kids. Moms are teachers 24/7!

I also had some fresh corn on the cob tonight but it was a major bummer. I paid fifty cents for each ear and it was so NOT worth it. That's a dollar I'm not getting back but hey it's fiber so my bowels will be delighted.

On that delightful note, I'm done.

Survivor

Tonight is Thursday which means Survivor night on TV. It also means I have completed 5 days back at work. Yahoo!

I feel a bit as if I'm on the show without the bugs and wild animals. Wait, I just deal with a different sort of wild animals.

We painted Mother's Day gifts today. There were no spills and that was the quietest part of the day. I wish we could paint for hours. Daily.

Tomorrow is the completion of one full week solid back at work. One week down and seven more to go.

I will survive, hey hey.

Vengeance

I had them move desks this afternoon. Vengeance is mine!

I made it through another day but had to take a nap tonight.

They are still talkative but one of them was much better today after I called home last night. Small victory. There are so many great kiddos in my classroom but teachers know their days are spent corralling and cajoling the unruly into some sort of passive attempt at actual work.

Peace out,
Wobbly and Weary Weeble

OMG

OMG the kvetching is driving me nuts. They never shut up. I am still standing though.

Peace out.

Addendum at 8 p.m.:
Bowel problems and MS are the shits. Literally. Sigh, could always be worse.

Monday Monday, la laaa la la la la

I made it.

It was a day with all the makings of a Monday except one of my unruly ones was indeed absent. I made it though. All day long, a regular day and we worked on the big South America project that my sub started which is way too big a project for this time of the year and for my fragile mind to handle.

Sigh, I will do it though. I've made some changes to it to make it easier and more fun for all involved. Okay, that's probably a lie. It may not be fun for all involved, especially me. But we are still doing it.

That's all I have time for, oh, except my dad had his defibrillator put in. The surgery went okay. He was supposed to have three wires put in but they only did one. He's a little bummed about that as he is worried that his heart is not pumping as well as it could.

Thanks for all the positive comments and support everyone. I appreciate it. G'night.

Back to school: the gritty reality

If you follow this blog then you know that Friday was the big day, my return to school. Thursday night was "something" but I was mostly calm with a slight case of the jitters. I tuned in to watch Survivor but got tired about halfway through. So I went up to bed around 8:30 and read until about 8:50 and then I drifted off to slumberland.

The first time I woke up it was about midnight. I read for a bit and then was back to sleep. Until about three a.m. Then I was really awake. I was up until about 4:30 or so and then I surrendered back to sleep.

The alarm went off about 5:20 and I jumped out of bed. Okay, maybe I didn't jump, but I rolled over with more than the usual enthusiasm for that time of the morning. Down the stairs, fed the cat, and eased myself into the shower within a reasonable amount of time from waking up.

After the shower I decided to go with shorts regardless of my slightly hairy legs as it was going to be about 70 for the big day. I got fully dressed and coiffed (not that my hair ever looks good as it is so limp) and put on sandals for the day. I skipped down the stairs, okay not skipped but walked without much of a limp, and found that I still had a quarter hour before I could really leave yet.

I packed a lunch without worrying too much what was in it. I also forgot a spoon for my yogurt, drat. (Thankfully, there were plastic ones at work to use!) The good thing about school is that I hardly eat any lunch and I generally forgo breakfast unless I am jonesing and stop at Dunkin Donuts. True to form, I ate a bite of a mozzarella cheese stick, not the fried kind, and about half a yogurt.

But what about the kids and the actual work? It went very well overall. I think most of the kids were pleased to have me back. I even got some hugs in the morning and a few when kiddos left at the end of the day. Before the kids arrived my special ed teacher that works in my room had me say, "I'm fantastic and I'm a genius." I did this a few times and it made me laugh but I swear it worked to pump me up.

Now picture my kiddos all seated and ready and me going over all the rules and routines again. It may sound silly but you have to do that kind of thing. I wasn't super happy with how they had behaved for the sub when I was in the room the past few times. I believe that most kids will live up to your expectations and that most of them like routines. Everyone likes to know what is expected from them in the world. It makes life easier.

The kiddos were mostly good with the exception of one unruly bugger who is a special ed student. That's where the special ed. wonder teacher/pal of mine comes in and sweeps him away and puts him in the room next door so I can continue teaching to everyone else. She's like a vulture swooping in for her prey and she does a good job of it.

We made it through the day and I even received a beautiful flower arrangement and a welcome back balloon from one of my students on behalf of her and the rest of the class. It made me smile big and it's home now where I can look at it and enjoy it. It makes me feel good inside that someone cared enough to do that!

That was my day. I gave two tests, we took notes, I introduced Latin America, we talked, we cleaned out our desks, we passed out folders and notebooks. We were a classroom again. I was a teacher again. It was a very good day indeed.

School shorty

I am tired, finally my mind is catching up to my body in this, so this will be a short one. I just wanted all those inquiring minds to know that my day went very well.

I had success!

You may now return to your regularly scheduled blog.