Anxiety

Do you ever feel anxious? I have been feeling that way much more lately and it's bothering me. Work is sometimes glorious and sometimes horrible. The horrible part is what I fixate on and how I usually end my day. I hate that I let the awful overrule the goodness. Is that just human nature or what?

It makes me feel weak to admit that some things at work are getting to me. I am usually the one who is strong and in control of everything. I fight MS and diabetes and do it my own way, on my own terms.

I am normally not afraid but I am feeling uneasy about things and I don't like that. Not one bit...

The good with the bad

Yesterday was a great day to have off for a doctor and a Tysabri appointment. It was a lovely Fall day and I had a pleasant ride to and from both appointments. Nothing to really report on the MS front but the bad news is that my guy is leaving the practice in two weeks. Major bummer.

I'll be moved over to the existing neurologist but I don't really understand him well when he speaks. I guess I'll just need to focus really hard when I see him from now on. The other new neuro coming in knows nothing about Tysabri so she isn't an option for me, according to my guy.

Yesterday was also my 2 year anniversary of Tysabri infusions. I was grading papers when I looked down and saw that my IV had come undone and blood was gushing out all over the floor and my hand. It was very messy but my white sweatshirt came out unscathed somehow.

I tried to pay my Tysabri bill but it was all messed up yet again. I just had received a bill for 1800 dollars and some change a few weeks back. I supposedly owe less than five hundred dollars but every time I call I get another story. So I try to pay yesterday and they tell me there is no balance. Go figure.

Oh, and I don't have the antibodies for the JC virus. Yippee.

Work today was okay. It was work but I came home and cleaned up a bit to be prepared for next Friday's 2nd annual Just Dance Extravaganza at my place. I need to have these social events a few times a year so that my apartment gets weeded out.

It's all good in the end.

A little bit fraudulent

I posted my A1C and glucose levels yesterday. They're much better than I thought they would be and I am delighted about that. But I must come clean...

Sometimes, often times, I take my blood sugar when I know it will be low so I can record it. I have been a little bit fraudulent with my readings therefore but I am overall doing much better than I ever thought, as evidenced by the A1C. You can't fake that as it is the the last three months worth of readings averaged out.

So here I am trying to cut down on my carbs at night and starting on a new diabetes med called Victoza. Victoza is a daily shot, not insulin, but another new med that works with the pancreas. I am no longer on Actos and I have been on this new med for a little over a week now. It has a side effect of weight loss and I think I am eating less on it, even though I have been dealing with major hormones the last few days. Losing weight and pulling lower numbers at all times would be a great thing for me to do.

I am also slowly getting back into using my Wii. I have been dancing and boxing a few days a week. Way better than my doing nothing. I still need to lose about ten pounds to get back to my lower weight (and then keep going from there).

Work is going well even with one stressful class. I seem to be doing okay with the major change in grades and learning all 100+ kiddos. I am healthy and happy and thriving even with the new obstacles.

I guess I'll keep on keeping on!

Good news

New A1C results are in: went from a 10.2 to a 7.5 in less than three months and an average glucose of 300 to 162. I am super pleased with those numbers; they're better than I thought they would be!

Also, my eighth period class was tolerable today and I am now free to relax and enjoy the next three days off from work. Woot woot!

Lunch out and some shopping tomorrow with BJM to spend time together and to give her her presents. I hope she likes them. :)

Box it out

That's what BJM said to me earlier this evening on the phone when I was commenting about the stress that I was feeling. Maybe you should go box it out. So I did and by golly, that woman is on to something. I feel so much better and more positive.

Tomorrow is Friday which means a three-day weekend and an extra day of rest.

Booyah.

Pardon the dust

I wish I could say that the blog has been under renovation and that's why I have been away but alas that is not the case. I've just been plain old busy, sometimes lazy, and occasionally playing hooky at the same time. I beg your forgiveness for my slothful ways.

Back to the telling of the birthday bonanza weekend...

Saturday was a bust with my big surprise and not being able to scrapbook. Sunday was much better because my bestie BJM took me out to dinner with her family. I also got a totally awesome gift from BJM and a lovely card. The gift was a beautiful necklace from Tiffany and Co. complete with the blue box! Talk about a surprise. Woot woot!

Monday came and with it my birthday lunch at work. That was okay but my parents came over after work for the real big surprise delivery. We sat for 90 minutes waiting and finally the gift arrived. It was a gorgeous leather sofa in Seattle coffee bean brown. It was somewhat on my radar but I was thinking maybe a recliner, not a whole sofa. I was delighted and shocked.

Tuesday came with two more gifts from my sis in Afghanistan: a gift card to Kohl's and a set of margarita glasses. And then, as quickly as it had come, the birthday hoopla was over.

Whew, 40 is great.

Work is going well although I am letting my last class stress me out. All the other classes are good to great. The last class has some wonderful children in it and then some that are not so wonderful. The last handful of non-wonderful ones are making me stressed out. A girl with MS doesn't need that. Hey, a girl without MS doesn't need that. No one needs that.

Deep sigh! I need to start exercising and doing yoga again. I need that release of tension and endorphins. So off I go...