A little "up"date

Yesterday (Monday) we received a call saying that they had to take my dad into the operating room again. They removed the balloon pump and then did a bronchoscopy to suck out the extra fluid in his lungs.

We were under the impression that the pump was to stay in longer, so my sister and I took this operation as a not so good sign. However, the surgeon came in later and shook my hand twice (upon entering and leaving, a good sign of someone who is capable and courteous) and said he was doing okay.

We saw him and spent a few hours talking to him while he was heavily sedated. He did not open his eyes and I speculated on what he might actually retain as the three of us (mother and two daughters, one newly home from Iraq) were discussing.

We went to Applebee's after the hospital for dinner to assuage my sister's enjoyment and hunger at being around all sorts of food after 15 months of food at the DFAC (Dining Facility). She had a pomegranate martini, shrimp, steak, some mashed potatoes and some veggies. Then we were on our way home, to my mom's home which was where my car was parked.

I actually had PIP (pants on in public) which was very painful because I am still way too big for my pants. I stopped at Wal-Mart on the way home and purchased two more pair of sweat pants. Talk about comfy; I wish I had done this before.

I also made it to the post office yesterday to mail in my official request for my sick leave. This would take me out through April and then I would have to teach for the months of May and June.

Today I brought my car in for an oil change and an inspection, which it failed on a couple of things. Don't ask me what they are because I don't remember. All I know is that what I thought would be a one hour visit is turning into a five hour visit. I guess hitting the dog (bless his soul) and being hit by the truck hauler thingie didn't do my car any good.

Graciously, they offered to drop me off at my apartment so I could sleep and then they would come back and pick me up. They dropped me off and I remembered


I didn't have my KEYS! Doh!!!!!


So that meant I had to trudge through the snow and climb in through a window to get into my apartment. Which means I hurt myself in the process, something deep down in my back and right buttock are not happy campers. But I made it in, resourceful and overweight girl that I am. The good thing is that I was not PIP because I never would have made it in those pants!

My brother is home from Iraq as of this morning and at the hospital as I type. I haven't seen him yet nor have my mother or sister as he rented a car.

That's my little "up"date with some more positive things to report. Thanks for your comments and kind thoughts. I do read and appreciate them, even though I have neglected to tell you all that lately.

Hugs to you, Weebs

I'm off to see the shrink and I don't pay a nickel!

Today is my long awaited appointment with my shrink, whom I adore and have been working with since 2000. I know that some of you must be thinking I am really messed up and you're right. Nah, not as bad as I used to be. I'm one of those gals who holds on to emotional clutter for long after it's served its practical use.

I canceled my last appointment so it's been five weeks of stuff to talk about. I walk in the office, he closes the door and I start my emotional spillage. It's my time and I can cuss or cry or laugh or do whatever I want for about 48 minutes or so.

I also am attending a social function this afternoon with some of my colleagues at one of their domiciles. I'm not one to go out but look at me gooooooooooo. I'm bringing the hostess a bag of little presents and I need to find something to bring that is edible. That means a trip to the grocery store after the emotional verbage has been brought forth to the light.

My dad is home from the hospital and is not scheduled for any further surgery at the moment. He has to have a nuclear stress test in three weeks to see what's going on. He had three stents put in during this last two-hour plus catherization, his third cath in a month.

That's all I've got for quickies.

A short one

I have a love-love affair with my heating pad aka corn bag that gets warmed up in the microwave. Most MSers can't stand the heat or the opposite, which would be the cold (duh!). I have my reasons for liking both, just not usually at the same time.

It's time for the corn bag/heating pad to come out and play. Last night my right leg (the one that likes to spasm the most) started thumping and rippling a little at bedtime. I threw in a Klonopin on top of the other night-time meds and prayed for the best.

Yippee, I slept but as arousal came I noticed the pop-pop-popping of my right leg in a quiet nagging little way. Good moooooooooooorning, Weeble Girl. That meant I needed to keep moving my leg around to stop the annoying little twitches which is difficult when you're still interested in sleeping.

So now I'm up and the corn bag has been under my leg and it has calmed down. Of course, I am also upright so that means it can start again when I lie down but I have the corn bag at the ready.

My dad also goes back to the hospital today for another heart catherization. This will be his third in about a month. He doesn't have a good feeling about this one but I will certainly update you as time goes on. He's not scheduled until later today and must go in early to receive extra fluids and meds for his kidneys. It sounds awful but I'm not going. I asked my mom if she wanted me to go but she said no, that it would be too long of a day.

And as awful as that sounds, she is right. They're leaving at 10 to be there at 11, he needs hours of fluids, the procedure starts at 3, the last one took two hours, and then he has to remain flat for three more hours. It has not been decided yet if they will keep him in the hospital overnight, although I suspect they will. That's just another thing this disease has taken from me- the ability to do what normal people do and stay awake and take care of things.

That's all I've got for now. I'm tired and going to work on the leg thing some more to see if I can't sneak in some more sleep.

Time to stop my b!tching, comment on a REAL hero

The man above is John Bul Dau, originally of Sudan, but now a resident of the United States. He's one of my true heroes in this world and I was about shoulder to kneecap with him the other day in the hospital.


Yes, dad's still a patient but hopefully coming home tomorrow. They did a second heart catherization last night, which normally takes about 30 minutes, and this latest one took two hours. That's an indication of the damage we're talking about.


The bad news is that of the three grafts from his triple bypass 15 years ago, one had been closed and two were "gunked up with crud" during the first heart cath in the hospital. As of last night's second cath, a second graft had closed in the past twenty-four hours. I spoke with dad today and he said he is scheduled for a third heart cath and some surgery in about a month.


He's not really a viable option to survive serious open heart surgery so that presents itself as a bit of a conundrum. I'll talk to my mother about all of this later on today when she's away from him.


But back to John Bul Dau...


This man is a true hero and to see him up close, to the point where I could reach out and touch his shirt just about made me foam at the mouth and hyperventilate. John is one of the "Lost Boys" of Sudan, if you know anything about their story. The lost boys and girls left Sudan during the civil war to find safety in Ethiopia where they stayed in refugee camps until forced back into Sudan at gun-point, crossing a river infested with crocodiles. He stayed in Sudan until they were forced out again to a refugee camp in Kenya. He lived at that camp for several years until he was chosen to come to America.


Here's a man who has overcome numerous difficulties in his life, most of them as a child. He's lived through starvation, civil war, mass murder, and so many other things that I couldn't list them all and I don't want to because the atrocities are horrendous.


But, there he was working in the hospital where my dad is a patient, not as a nurse or doctor, but someone who cleans or does what we might consider a more menial position. That's just John. One minute he's working two jobs to support his family here in the US and on another day he might be travelling to talk to famous people or large groups to tell his story and raise money for his foundation.


To learn more about John's foundation, click below:

www.johndaufoundation.org

His foundation raises money for health clinics he's having built back in Sudan. This is a man forced to leave his homeland as a child who is willing to turn around and extend a helping hand back to that same place. His story is written eloquently in his memoir "God Grew Tired of Us" and there is also a DVD (available through Netflix even!) of the same name which shows what this man lived through. I urge you to read and view and then put it all back in to perspective.

Regardless, this is a man who is a giant both physically, about 7 feet tall, and in my eyes. I wish I had been brave enough to go speak to him. He is a friend on my Facebook page and there is more information about him available on Facebook under causes, if you're a F-booker. (That sounded really dirty, didn't it?)

Seeing him gave me pause to think that yes, even though there is a lot of rough stuff in the water right now I have a boat, some oars, and a compass. Sometimes I have to remember that it's not all about me.

Wednesday woes

This will be short because I have two problems at the moment. One is that I have one more paper to get in for the sick leave bank. Found that out today after I got home from the hospital. I'm exhausted from trying to apply for this the correct way. Every time I think I am done with this, I'm not and I'm just too tired.

Secondly, my father is the reason I was at the hospital. He was taken to an excellent cardiac care hospital for, what else, cardiac issues among other things. He's lost half of the blood in his body, was vomiting blood, has kidney problems and (duh) major cardiac issues.

He's been swallowing nitroglycerin like they're Sweet Tarts and they found two cysts in his kidneys. His brother was recently diagnosed with kidney cancer so that could be a potential issue. He's now on morphine for the pain and they are treating the blood loss with transfusions as I type this.

I spent some time today on the phone with the Red Cross as both my siblings are active duty Army in Iraq. We were trying to find out the procedure if they need to be flown home on an emergency basis.

The cardiac stuff is the most distressing as they did the heart catherization this morning. Previously, my father had a triple bypass some time ago and has been living on borrowed time, so to type. One artery is completely blocked and the other two (of the three from the operation) have all sorts of stuff in there clogging things up. Translation = not looking too good for heart repair, but you never know.

So if I'm quiet for a day or two, know that I am thinking of my blog but just can't get to it or can't get my fingers and hands to work well. Holding the cell phone and driving (not at the same time) was painful and my claws are in sore need of some ice packs now.

That's all I've got for now.