I did not go to work today.
When I awoke I was so tired and so dizzy and wobbly that I knew today was just going to be a day for me, a day to take care of myself. My MS and diabetes have been rearing their heads while I have been going through these stressful last few weeks. I have been so very tired on every level.
Tomorrow is the last day of work for the week. I should go in and do my thing but I am going to wait and see how I feel tomorrow. It was all I could do to make the drive to work this morning without drifting off the road. I had slept all night but I am literally on the edge of exhaustion.
Exhaustion with multiple sclerosis is a crazy thing. It's hard to explain to people without MS. It's just such an all-encompassing tiredness, one that every cell feels. Sometimes it is just too much effort to even move. That's part of the reason why when I came home from work (to drop off my plans) I went back to sleep and slept until after three o'clock in the afternoon.
The thing is I am still tired now but I am going to order myself some dinner/lunch. Then maybe I'll take another nap. It's time to take good care of me so I can continue to take care of my family, friends, and students.
Showing posts with label fatigue. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fatigue. Show all posts
Monday, November 22, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
"I will survive, hey hey." Great words from an old song but words that ring true. I made it through the whole first full week of work. Yippee. By Friday I was tired and limped through the day but I survived.
I am so proud of me for that!
I am making it up as I go along as far as what I want the class to be. There may be more changes as I trudge along in the trenches but that's okay. I have that flexibility in my position. I am getting used to the schedule and some days the day is over before I can even believe it. Then again, some days certain periods drag. It's all good though.
I'm healthy and happy and energized through my Provigil. That stuff is my miracle because without it there is no way I would be able to function well enough to work. I do not take it on the weekends unless there is something special that I have to attend to that needs me awake. That means I sleep the weekend away basically. Today, for example, I woke up around six and felt energetic. I went to the kitchen to chop up veggies for a beef stew and then went shopping around seven a.m. After that was done I put the groceries away and had a carb-filled breakfast (a no no). It wasn't nine yet but I was sleepy so I went up to take a snooze.
The snooze lasted until 1:40!
I stayed up for about 30 minutes and then felt sleepy again. Back to bed I went and I was out until 5:40! I basically slept my day away but my body needed it. That's how strong my fatigue is even though I am now sleeping through the night. I live in a bubble of exhaustion.
But the point is I am living and thriving, even if it is better living through pharmaceuticals.
I am so proud of me for that!
I am making it up as I go along as far as what I want the class to be. There may be more changes as I trudge along in the trenches but that's okay. I have that flexibility in my position. I am getting used to the schedule and some days the day is over before I can even believe it. Then again, some days certain periods drag. It's all good though.
I'm healthy and happy and energized through my Provigil. That stuff is my miracle because without it there is no way I would be able to function well enough to work. I do not take it on the weekends unless there is something special that I have to attend to that needs me awake. That means I sleep the weekend away basically. Today, for example, I woke up around six and felt energetic. I went to the kitchen to chop up veggies for a beef stew and then went shopping around seven a.m. After that was done I put the groceries away and had a carb-filled breakfast (a no no). It wasn't nine yet but I was sleepy so I went up to take a snooze.
The snooze lasted until 1:40!
I stayed up for about 30 minutes and then felt sleepy again. Back to bed I went and I was out until 5:40! I basically slept my day away but my body needed it. That's how strong my fatigue is even though I am now sleeping through the night. I live in a bubble of exhaustion.
But the point is I am living and thriving, even if it is better living through pharmaceuticals.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Three's a charm
Okey dokey, here I am again for the third day in a row. Woot woot!
I slept again until after two p.m. and then napped again after that. I'm not bothered by that but I could see where some other people would think I am being rather slothful. This is what I get for not taking my Provigil for two days. The fatigue and sleepiness just overtake me and I am out like a light. Even at night I am so tired that I don't make it to where I can turn out the light and put my CPAP mask on before I literally pass out into sleep. I wake up an hour or two later to use the bathroom and find myself zonked out once more with the lights on. It happens every night now...
School is over and I am glad for the break. I need to get myself prepared for a new year in a new grade. Some of you know the story already but some of you do not.
In the simplest version I have been teaching fifth-grade for the past several years. We were not departmentalized and our principal was considering a switch so we would be. There were five teachers at the grade level, with one retiring and one having to leave the grade level to work in another building due to circumstances beyond her control. That left three of us.
We all emailed our boss the subject we preferred to teach in the event of departmentalization. He said the three of us all wanted something different so that wasn't a problem. The original five of us were against departmentalizing and we had explained our reasons. Our boss said he would tell us his decision by the end of the next week.
We were somewhat certain that he would departmentalize us but I had a special surprise coming my way. Thankfully, one of my friends had gotten wind of a rumor that one of the remaining three would be leaving the grade level and she passed that on only to me. So it was not much of a surprise when my boss told me that I was being moved to another grade right before the meeting on departmentalization. I was hurt by being moved and hurt by the fact that I was told about the switch in my room only one minute before the meeting.
We don't always get what we want though. So now I am a sixth-grade teacher who will be departmentalized and teaching a combination of ELA and Math enrichment. I am getting a huge air-conditioned room for the majority of the next year, while my area is under construction. I also get to create my own curriculum that uses skills that reinforce what is being taught in Math and ELA.
It isn't all bad and change is good but I am sad in some ways and mourning the loss of being a fifth-grade teacher with a great team.
I slept again until after two p.m. and then napped again after that. I'm not bothered by that but I could see where some other people would think I am being rather slothful. This is what I get for not taking my Provigil for two days. The fatigue and sleepiness just overtake me and I am out like a light. Even at night I am so tired that I don't make it to where I can turn out the light and put my CPAP mask on before I literally pass out into sleep. I wake up an hour or two later to use the bathroom and find myself zonked out once more with the lights on. It happens every night now...
School is over and I am glad for the break. I need to get myself prepared for a new year in a new grade. Some of you know the story already but some of you do not.
In the simplest version I have been teaching fifth-grade for the past several years. We were not departmentalized and our principal was considering a switch so we would be. There were five teachers at the grade level, with one retiring and one having to leave the grade level to work in another building due to circumstances beyond her control. That left three of us.
We all emailed our boss the subject we preferred to teach in the event of departmentalization. He said the three of us all wanted something different so that wasn't a problem. The original five of us were against departmentalizing and we had explained our reasons. Our boss said he would tell us his decision by the end of the next week.
We were somewhat certain that he would departmentalize us but I had a special surprise coming my way. Thankfully, one of my friends had gotten wind of a rumor that one of the remaining three would be leaving the grade level and she passed that on only to me. So it was not much of a surprise when my boss told me that I was being moved to another grade right before the meeting on departmentalization. I was hurt by being moved and hurt by the fact that I was told about the switch in my room only one minute before the meeting.
We don't always get what we want though. So now I am a sixth-grade teacher who will be departmentalized and teaching a combination of ELA and Math enrichment. I am getting a huge air-conditioned room for the majority of the next year, while my area is under construction. I also get to create my own curriculum that uses skills that reinforce what is being taught in Math and ELA.
It isn't all bad and change is good but I am sad in some ways and mourning the loss of being a fifth-grade teacher with a great team.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Drain Bamaged or is it...
If you read yesterday's tiny post then you know I was tired. I now know why I was dragging tail all day. Chalk it up to some minor brain damage...
I lined my morning meds up today to take after ye olde shower. I sat down and started opening and closing pill bottles. I was on the last bottle when *alas* I realized yesterday's error. The last bottle was not my Provigil which keeps me awake and going. It was, instead, my Klonopin which helps to knock me out while it fights off muscle cramps and stiffness!
No wonder I about passed out on the drive in to work in the morning. I already take some meds which slow me down in the morning and the Klonopin on top of that made me doubly tired in the inky early morning darkness.
I remedied the situation and placed the Provigil in the right place and sucked down that pill along with the rest of my morning pharmacopia.
I'm still not sure why I took my pills that way this morning because I NEVER do it this way but something moved me to do it. I'm grateful for whatever higher power that was that helped me out. We all need a little help now and then.
I lined my morning meds up today to take after ye olde shower. I sat down and started opening and closing pill bottles. I was on the last bottle when *alas* I realized yesterday's error. The last bottle was not my Provigil which keeps me awake and going. It was, instead, my Klonopin which helps to knock me out while it fights off muscle cramps and stiffness!
No wonder I about passed out on the drive in to work in the morning. I already take some meds which slow me down in the morning and the Klonopin on top of that made me doubly tired in the inky early morning darkness.
I remedied the situation and placed the Provigil in the right place and sucked down that pill along with the rest of my morning pharmacopia.
I'm still not sure why I took my pills that way this morning because I NEVER do it this way but something moved me to do it. I'm grateful for whatever higher power that was that helped me out. We all need a little help now and then.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Fatigued
Folks, I am tired, worn out, exhausted, insert other appropriate phrase here. Call me Fatigueo Girl with a giant F on my sweatshirt and one on my cape.
I slept most of the weekend away and I was still exhausted today. The Provigil didn't seem to even kick in. I came home from work as soon as it ended (skipping a meeting) to take a nap.
No dice there.
I kid you not when I say that the phone rang once and my neighbor knocked on my door four times. Four flipping times.
'Twas no nap to be had today.
Turns out my neighbor's apartment was robbed and the door was kicked in. He wanted to know if I saw or heard anything, which I didn't. All I wanted from life was a nap not a ransacking of my neighbor's place.
Now it's time for some reading and sleep. Please do not knock on my door or call!
I slept most of the weekend away and I was still exhausted today. The Provigil didn't seem to even kick in. I came home from work as soon as it ended (skipping a meeting) to take a nap.
No dice there.
I kid you not when I say that the phone rang once and my neighbor knocked on my door four times. Four flipping times.
'Twas no nap to be had today.
Turns out my neighbor's apartment was robbed and the door was kicked in. He wanted to know if I saw or heard anything, which I didn't. All I wanted from life was a nap not a ransacking of my neighbor's place.
Now it's time for some reading and sleep. Please do not knock on my door or call!
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Vacation is here!
It's official. I am now on vacation as of Friday the 26th. No more homework, no more books, no more kiddos' dirty looks! Yeah.
Dad has come home from the hospital today. There were some snafus on Thursday when he went in to have the surgery but in the end it seems to have worked itself all out. He needed another surgery to put in another wire to his heart defibrillator/pacemaker device. He has had problems breathing and this surgery is designed to help the heart pump more efficiently so the oxygen is better passed throughout the body. Or at least that's the way I understand it.
I am so proud that I made it to the end of the year with only one day taken off for a sick day and another 90 minutes off to make my Tysabri appointment this past week on Tuesday. I did it! It may sound silly but those two months were a fight every day to get up and go but I did it.
It was difficult going back to work after all that time off. The kiddos had developed some really terrible habits that I battled each day until last Thursday. The kiddos' last day was a half day on Wednesday and many of them gave me hugs on their way out the door so that was nice. Then Thursday was a day for paperwork and packing up my room as I have to move rooms this year. I got it all packed though.
Then I got crazy and went out for drinks with some coworkers on Thursday. I NEVER do things like that. I think my friends were as surprised as I was when I said I would go. I had three yummy daiquiris that were rather weak so I was okay to drive home after a few hours of enjoying the sun and then the breeze. While we were there it was so windy that we saw the umbrella from the middle of another table come flying out and across the porch area where we were sitting. Thankfully no one was hurt.
My air conditioner was put in place by BJM's hubby the other night. It's been pleasant to have that on some of these muggy evenings. I run the fan every night all year long, even in the winter; unless, of course, it's a night where I have the AC running.
My brother is still in Europe heading to Greece. My sister is flying over to join him in Greece and then they are supposed to see the running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain. She'll be with him for two weeks. I hope they take lots of pics so I can view them on Facebook.
My MS seems to be holding steady with nothing new cropping up. I have been sleeping a lot since school has ended but that's okay. I have no other plans. I do plan to take my chair outside in the shade and do some reading here soon. I also need to get some exercising in again.
That's all I have for now. Night!
Dad has come home from the hospital today. There were some snafus on Thursday when he went in to have the surgery but in the end it seems to have worked itself all out. He needed another surgery to put in another wire to his heart defibrillator/pacemaker device. He has had problems breathing and this surgery is designed to help the heart pump more efficiently so the oxygen is better passed throughout the body. Or at least that's the way I understand it.
I am so proud that I made it to the end of the year with only one day taken off for a sick day and another 90 minutes off to make my Tysabri appointment this past week on Tuesday. I did it! It may sound silly but those two months were a fight every day to get up and go but I did it.
It was difficult going back to work after all that time off. The kiddos had developed some really terrible habits that I battled each day until last Thursday. The kiddos' last day was a half day on Wednesday and many of them gave me hugs on their way out the door so that was nice. Then Thursday was a day for paperwork and packing up my room as I have to move rooms this year. I got it all packed though.
Then I got crazy and went out for drinks with some coworkers on Thursday. I NEVER do things like that. I think my friends were as surprised as I was when I said I would go. I had three yummy daiquiris that were rather weak so I was okay to drive home after a few hours of enjoying the sun and then the breeze. While we were there it was so windy that we saw the umbrella from the middle of another table come flying out and across the porch area where we were sitting. Thankfully no one was hurt.
My air conditioner was put in place by BJM's hubby the other night. It's been pleasant to have that on some of these muggy evenings. I run the fan every night all year long, even in the winter; unless, of course, it's a night where I have the AC running.
My brother is still in Europe heading to Greece. My sister is flying over to join him in Greece and then they are supposed to see the running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain. She'll be with him for two weeks. I hope they take lots of pics so I can view them on Facebook.
My MS seems to be holding steady with nothing new cropping up. I have been sleeping a lot since school has ended but that's okay. I have no other plans. I do plan to take my chair outside in the shade and do some reading here soon. I also need to get some exercising in again.
That's all I have for now. Night!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Welcome to December (almost)
Monday is a neurologist appointment followed up shortly after with Tysabri infusion number three. I'm already planning on what I will bring with me to pass the time at the infusion center. When you're attached to a stupid IV pole you'd be surprised how awkward it is to do the most mundane of tasks. Not to mention some of the chairs they have which are hard to get out of if you're only 5 feet tall and built like a refrigerator. I'd like to try and walk for a while but I suspect I'd just be getting in the nurses' way as I made a loop around the two nurses' centers. Plus, I'd be able to look into everyone's little suite so that probably wouldn't fly with the privacy issue.
Last time during my infusion I marked some papers, read a little and watched the good cable with the remote firmly attached to my hand. I don't have good cable at home, only channels 2-14 and 75-77 for about eight dollars a month. I have an inkling that I'll watch some TV again as it does help pass the time in those weird chairs. I'm so short that I don't fit well in most chairs; often I can't touch the floor with my feet when I sit in chairs and I end up being perched on the end of chairs so I can try and reach the floor. That also happens at the neuro's office. I end up perched on the edge trying to sit comfortably.
The pain in my hands and arms and fingers has significantly improved although I'm not sure how much of that is from being off from work and how much is Tysabri. I still have fatigue issues that are off the chart even with a bit of Provigil. I'm even having some dreams about going back to work again, not being able to control the kids, the kind that wake me up and make me feel cranky because that's never been a real life issue for me. I just don't want to be worrying about school now when I'm supposed to be taking care of me.
I did the 20 minute Turbo Jam program today and I did a little better than the other day. I'm going to try and continue with it for 3-4 times a week, like every other day. I need to lose weight so I can actually wear my clothes. I cannot blame Thanksgiving for me being so wide; that's been a problem of mine for years now and I can't blame it on any turkey.
Maybe once I have my Nintendo Wii and my Wii Fit that I'll be able to get more parts of me worked out at my low and slooooooow level. I'll let you know how that goes.
Last time during my infusion I marked some papers, read a little and watched the good cable with the remote firmly attached to my hand. I don't have good cable at home, only channels 2-14 and 75-77 for about eight dollars a month. I have an inkling that I'll watch some TV again as it does help pass the time in those weird chairs. I'm so short that I don't fit well in most chairs; often I can't touch the floor with my feet when I sit in chairs and I end up being perched on the end of chairs so I can try and reach the floor. That also happens at the neuro's office. I end up perched on the edge trying to sit comfortably.
The pain in my hands and arms and fingers has significantly improved although I'm not sure how much of that is from being off from work and how much is Tysabri. I still have fatigue issues that are off the chart even with a bit of Provigil. I'm even having some dreams about going back to work again, not being able to control the kids, the kind that wake me up and make me feel cranky because that's never been a real life issue for me. I just don't want to be worrying about school now when I'm supposed to be taking care of me.
I did the 20 minute Turbo Jam program today and I did a little better than the other day. I'm going to try and continue with it for 3-4 times a week, like every other day. I need to lose weight so I can actually wear my clothes. I cannot blame Thanksgiving for me being so wide; that's been a problem of mine for years now and I can't blame it on any turkey.
Maybe once I have my Nintendo Wii and my Wii Fit that I'll be able to get more parts of me worked out at my low and slooooooow level. I'll let you know how that goes.
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